What do you think of my poem?
Jan 19, 2010
in
Tornado Pictures Video
Just wrote it, so this is only a first draft, but what do you think?
The shrill shrieks of hollow laughter echo throughout
While images spin through a pulsing body,
And each breathe steals another piece of the core.
Eyes made black from streaming eyes,
And void smiles fill the air,
Fading into the abyss as quickly as they once arrived.
Swirling tornadoes come down to earth
To swoop up a lost soul
Leaving behind the vacancy and taking back the reserved.
writing for a while? no im 15
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5 comments
Wheelsqueak on January 19, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Maddy,
You’re not writing about yourself again, are you?
? on January 19, 2010 at 11:33 pm
that was amazing. you must of been writing for a while
Lauren on January 19, 2010 at 11:33 pm
very good!! keep it up!!!
Narutofangirl on January 19, 2010 at 11:33 pm
you should add 3 more lines… Send me the final I <3 it so far!!!
cassie58 on January 19, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Keep writing, I think you have some talent there if you are only 15. You have got off to a good start with this one