What do you think of my poem?
Jan 13, 2010
in
Tornado Pictures Video
The shrill shrieks of hollow laughter echo throughout
While images spin through a pulsing body,
And each breathe steals another piece of the core.
Eyes made black from streaming lakes,
And void smiles fill the air,
Fading into the abyss as quickly as they once arrived.
Swirling tornadoes come down to earth
To swoop up a lost soul
Leaving behind the vacancy and taking back the reserved.
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12 comments
YESU BEN PANTERA on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
No doubt about it. You’re good. But do tell us what that poem is about. I really wanna understand your message. When you choose your best answer, please do write a brief note about this bright and rich poem.
ReggaeMan on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
sounds kind of emo but pretty good
Botch on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
i dont like poetry much…but! its a good poem
Beauty is Pain on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
sounds like the end of the world. i love it! its deep and original.
Jon D on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
it’s moving.
Geralda on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
its very different but i like it
Wade C on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
well its not often that I read poems, but I like it. you did well
♥Ella the Chocolate Lover♥ on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
its good i like it especially the part of eyes made black from streaming lakes you are good keep it up
amy on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
It is a good poem . You should try poemhunter.com to publicise ur works. You can get real reviews about them
Colin on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
It could flow better from line to line but other than that the idea is great. Also some rhythm wouldn’t hurt.
D on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
No idea what you’re trying to say. A little goth. Good. overall, 8/10
G on January 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
I like it…even though its dark…I can feel the mood…and can relate