What do you think of my poem?

Just wrote it, so this is only a first draft, but what do you think?

The shrill shrieks of hollow laughter echo throughout
While images spin through a pulsing body,
And each breathe steals another piece of the core.

Eyes made black from streaming eyes,
And void smiles fill the air,
Fading into the abyss as quickly as they once arrived.

Swirling tornadoes come down to earth
To swoop up a lost soul
Leaving behind the vacancy and taking back the reserved.

Technorati Tags: abyss, down to earth, first draft, images, laughter, shrieks, smiles, swoop, tornadoes, vacancy

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!