TAKS training for teachers…Not a question, but funny and wanted to share?
Severe Weather TAKS Testing Protocol
1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain
calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and
must be reported.
2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes.
You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a
testing irregularity and must be reported.
3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry,
please make every effort to protect their testing materials from the
flow of tears and sinus drainage.
4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing,
please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing
booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of
the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while
testing.
5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the
room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing
materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand
to ensure that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents.
Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.
6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test
booklets and answer sheets into their shirts…being very careful not to
bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.
7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud,
please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing…and of
course make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets
behind. You will have to account for those.
8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take
you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for
all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra
precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never
leave your hands.
9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make
sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing
materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still
be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not
be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests…unless of course
they have been through standardized test training.
10. Please do not pray should a severe weather situation arise.
Your priority is to actively monitor the test and a student might mark
in the wrong section if you are praying instead of monitoring. I’m sure
God will put war, world hunger, crime, and the presidential primaries on
hold until after testing is over. He knows how important this test is.
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2 comments
matt r on August 3, 2010 at 7:00 am
NO CHILDS TEST MATERIALS LEFT BEHIND really sounds like something you can build a strong educational platform on. some one could base a presidential campaign on this stuff.
bobblehead on August 3, 2010 at 7:00 am
That was hilarious. I’m going to print copies and give one to all the testers at my site. We just had some guys come to our site and install locks on all of the classroom cabinets where student tests are kept. As if this wasn’t enough, they also placed chains with another lock on the handles, so they are double locked. Wow!