I think I may be contradicting myself and I think I take the whole situation in the prologue a little too far.. So please tell me what I need to do..
Prologue
Slowly I am losing sight of you. Your picture becomes more and more vague with each day, until it will become transparent. I will forget you eventually, and move on. Time can’t heal my heart, but it can cover the scars up with a mask. A mask made by one person. But who? Once again, only time can tell. Only time can tell when I’ll lose sight of you, too.
You are like the only storm cloud rumbling my head. You created the thunder, and I created the lightning. Just like any glorious storm, we were two elements that had to be put together. Rain and clouds, sun and rainbows, and of course, thunder and lightning.
Together we stood; but together doesn’t last forever.
There are also storms that don’t usually last long at all. Like tornadoes.
You were my tornado. You came and went in an instant, taking my barely beating heart with you.
Some people say the sun will forever shine. Idiots. The sun eventually will fade out, just as I will, too. All because of you. All because you banished me from plain sight, just like any king would do.
Do you see the hole in my heart? You created it. You’re what formed the ache, the utter pain that will not diminish.
You are what makes me cry at night, and drag my feet in the morning.
You’ve beaten me down to a pulp, run me over, and then kicked me while I was down. While I was screaming curses in my head, and I solemnly swore never to lend my heart out again. Ever.
Not that I even have a heart anymore. That thumping sound coming from my chest? Its a decoy. You’re meant to think I’m alive. I am, but barely. I still have an uncreased amount of life energy. Its at its minimum, though. Its not at all what it used to be.
You made sure of that. You had to assure yourself that I was so done for that you could move on.
This is what you wanted.
You wanted to see the tears, you wanted to stomp on me repeatedly, until my breath caught in my throat.
And even though I’m bruised, scratched, beaten, and tossed in the trash like garbage, I still want to live. No matter how much you’ve killed me already.
Even though it feels like glass has been jabbed in my still beating heart, I will continue living life, no matter how shattered I am. I will continue my daily regime just as I had before. However, I won’t be smiling in the mirror any longer.
All thanks to you.
To make it even worse, I am forced to see your heart-breaking face everyday I continue to live and breathe. I could be like the other girls. Jumping happily, beaming bright, fake, toothy smiles, oblivious to the world and whom lives in it.
Like you. You’re just another jerk that goes on breaking girl’s hearts.
However, I will continue to wake up. Even though I will be crying on the inside, I will still remember to breathe. Not for you, though. For me.
I’m not the same person anymore. Instead I’m the me you have made. Bruised, scratched, beaten, and tossed in the trash like garbage.
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