How do you get your kids/spouse to clean up? (Parents & especially stay @ home moms w/ young kids)?
This is hard to make sure i get in every little bit of info i feel is needed without making this a huge question (sorry if it’s too long but i can use your kind words!)
My husband to be is the bread winner, I stay home with our son, he feels because he buys everything & pays for bills & things like that, he is exempt from cleaning up the house. So he is not much help as far as that goes, & I know a lot of you may think this is ridiculous & what a jerk? (am i right?) Well in a way he’s right, I get the privilege to be lazy & do what i want everyday, he gives me money when i need it, he takes good care of us, he just thinks my JOB is to clean & cook (which i agree, I have it good! & i don’t deny that but tend to take advantage of it i suppose….) but i wish he would help out just once in a while, especially now that i’m pregnant again, he doesn’t understand how tired I am.
AND OUR SON! Oh my gosh!! he is my little tornado, he seems to think everything belongs on the floor, he’s been getting into things like crazy (in the last few weeks which is not normal) I try to get him to help me clean up, we sing the clean up son from barney & he’ll start doing something but when i help he stops doing it & lets me do it, if i ask him to do something (such as clean up your legos in your bedroom) It is like pulling teeth & i end up getting more stressed over asking him to do something, He is only 3 (4 end of may) I think he should help with little things, but I just don’t know how to get him to help me, with effort & not having to ask like crazy…… with my fiance, I’ve talked to him about this many times & told him i don’t expect much & some days he’ll do things like pick up & clear some stuff of his coffee table which is always cluttered with who knows what! I get really irritated when he takes our car back & forth to work & such…. & i won’t drive it for days, & he thrashes it & i just get so sick of "bitching" excuse my language, but I feel like such a nag, nag on my son, nag on my man……
Any ideas? or examples of what you do to get a little more help around the house?
Are you a stay at home parent?
Thanks for your time
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5 comments
mamaof2mjjs on May 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I am a stay home mom and I’ve got three to follow around after (my 1 yr old daughter, my 4, almost 5, son, and my 28 year old husband). I swear I clean my house for it to get messy, it never stays clean for more than two minutes. I think it’s the life of the housewife/stay home mom.
However, my husband does help if I need him to. My husband works TWO jobs (one works him overtime a lot and the other is his own business) and still helps, so you need to let your fiance know that there are others that help with more on their plate than him. Let him know that you aren’t asking him to scrub the bathrooms just simply vacuum when you are exhausted because believe me, you are only going to get more tired as you get further along and when the baby is born.
As for your son, he’s at the age where he can be of some help. However, you can’t depend on him yet. He’s still a child and you are still going to have to tell him 50 thousand times. But you can make it easier on yourself. Get a simple chore chart for him (simple as in the things he must do). Put things down like pick up legos, get dressed, nothing too broad like clean room. Then have a reward system. When he does the chore, give him a star sticker to put on the chart. When he receives 5 stars, he gets a treat and 20 stars gets a toy. This is TRULY a good teaching tool. My son will be 5 next month and when I tell him to clean his room, he does. Of course you can’t have too high of expectations either (they aren’t going to organize anything, they are going to throw it all in a closet) but as they get older, they’ll learn.
Also with your son, when you sing the clean up song. Tell him you are going to do the dishes and he’ll pick up his toys on the floor, sing the song. When you are done singing, see who wins. Games and rewards are the best system with children.
krob8008 on May 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm
It’s so funny. I am sitting here in the living room, and I just told my son, "DON’T DRAG ANYTHING ELSE OUT! The house is getting messy!!"
Then, I looked down and saw this question!
I would, first, talk to my husband. Luckily, mine can’t stand clutter, so he contributes to cleaning, too.
Maybe since your son is so young, try to make into a fun game to pick up- put things up before you pull anything else out.
My son is 5, so he gets in trouble for trashing out his room, and he does clean it. I also feel like a nag..’don’t do this, don’t do that, what are you doing?! Stop!’ It is going to have to be something that you TRAIN him to do. Cleanliness doesn’t come naturally for little boys!
su9erw0man on May 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I am not a stay at home parent but I grew up in a household where it was just me my mother and my father. I remember I hated to clean up I would literaly lock myself in my room when it was time to clean my room. I have since then realised that I feel so much better when it is clean. My advice to you would have to be just make it a family affair. Tell your fiance that you want to set a day aside where you three just get together and do a few things around the house. I think that if you make it fun for your son to clean up with mom and dad that you will have better luck with the both of them. It doesnt have to be much but every little bit helps right. Hope I helped.
kim h on May 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Being a stay at home mom you are right the housework is your job but that does not mean that you have to clean up after the husband also. He should not make things harder on you. He should also understand that you need a break and you need some help. You do not get to clock out and not worry about work until tomorrow like he does. You are on the job 24/7. I would explain this all to him. As for getting your little one to pick up you need to be consistent. He needs to pick up or he does not get to play. Take what he won’t pick up and don’t let him have them back for a little while. If he stops picking up when you help you need to redirect him back to picking up his mess. Praise him well when he does it right.
Brampa on May 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I’d suggest you give him little rewards for each thing. like if he helps today he can come shopping with you tommorow to pick out a treat (chocolate, lollies, a small toy(like a car) etc.) or something similar.