Am I ugly, am I unsexy – why did he cheat?
saw him nearly every night and we were always together. His family and mine were happy or us. He told me quite early on that he would like to work abroad at some point. I spent most of my time trying to find a job abroad so we could go together. My only stipulation was he try and go to an english speaking country as this gave me a good chance of finding a job as well as I wanted him to have his dream. After 5 or 6 years, I mentioned isnt it about time we started thinking about living tgether? He said that he was scared of living together so I agreed how about we try
me staying more than 1 night a week t start off with as we are together all the time on holidays and it has never been a problem. He agreed but it never happened. After 6 years like this my family and his started to say he was using me as we did everything couples do except live together. They constantly questioned me about where we were going, if we had a future etc. They semed to blame me where it was his decision to not have us move in. I told him to please talk to them as I was under so much pressure from everybody. Last year I lost my job unfairly and was considering legal action. I was in such a mess and told him he could do better than me as I was a nothing and a nobody (I was very depressed) After 5 weeks I found another job but found out he had secretely asked another girl out. He said he was so sorry,it was becuase I said he could do better. We stayed together, I said we need to move this relationship up as engaged now for 4 years and still no
improvement on living together. I decided to get out from the pressure of my parents and buy my own home. He agreed and helped me with the deposit saying we would have our own place (even though he already lives alone) so he could live with me. During this his pal, became ill with Cancer – he dealt with this by cutting himself off from me saying he was going through a terrible time and his job was possibly being cut too. I said should we have a break so he could deal with the situation, he said he couldnt handle any external pressure namely me as I was asking him when I coud stay the night (getting angry in the process as he didnt undertsand why I felt used for sex) After two months of not seeing him properly, I asked him what was going on and he said everytime he saw me he gets stressed out. I have stood by him through two fatal accidents, his workload, his ups and downs etc and was finally at breaking point. I found out that a younger girl (20 yrs
younger) had asked him out and he was seeing her. she told me to get lost he was with her now!!
She text me lots of vindictive messages and he did not stop it. He said he was at his lowest when he met her and wants us to get back together. the house I bought went through when he was with her. I am on my own now doing it up, his work found out about them and sacked him. He has now had to move away for work. Is this my fault and how do I get us back together.
When I asked him why he did this, he said because I told him I would be leaving after another year if things didn?t change a bit, also he was at his lowest point in life because of his pal dying. He told me he only got engaged to me to keep me until somebody better came along. After 6 months we started talking again and he said he didnt mean anything he said. have now found out he is seeing somebody abroad; I saw their photo on face book. I confronted him and he has just said he doesnt want to hurt me.
Now though, he is with this other woman moving on. The girl he cheated on me with has moved onto her next target without a care in the world. I am left holding the bag all on my own. She broke us up like a tornado and has now left a path of destruction. How do I get my life on track, I have not many pals and am very alone. I see her everywhere happy and smiling whereas I have just lost the bset thing I ever had and I cant cope with the loss. Her ex told me she is destructive. She breaks up families and moves on. Now my guy and I are in different countries and moving on. How do I move on to? I just cant take this.
I really want to meet that special person and thought I’d found him. Am I ugly, please look at pic and tell me.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=308584&id=1080292859&ref=fbx_album#!/photo.php?pid=73700&id=1080292859&ref=fbx_album
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7 comments
baby Chintu on September 10, 2010 at 1:59 am
You are beautiful. Don’t think anything useless. Just think of your future and move on. Ask your heart whether you need him or not and it will say u the answer. Since he has broken your heart, it doesn’t mean that you are ugly and you are not sexy. what matters is your character. Be good and do good to others. Just sue him and leave him. Lead your life happily. Join a yoga class that will really help you to overcome all these idiotic tensions from your heart. Good luck babe.
TheOne on September 10, 2010 at 1:59 am
Sorry this happened to you.
I think you spent way too much time waiting for that man to commit to you.
Next time, don’t wait that long.
He is no longer your guy – you need to stop thinking of him in that way.
Beauty fades and dumb is forever.
So, you may be beautiful now but it is your mind you need to develop.
It seems to me that you have low self esteem issues.
Try going to some therapy to work on feelings you are having because of the loss of the relationship and your self esteem issues.
Peace.
jennybay on September 10, 2010 at 1:59 am
I am sorry for what u have gone thro’.
My ex-husband cheated n I don’t think that is becoz I am ugly nor unsexy. I think he don’t deserve a perfect me, and he is a jerk n pick another girl. It is his fault than anything to do with me.
Don’t blame yourself, you deserve a nice and decent man.
Let’s work hard to move on.
jumpinjupiter69 on September 10, 2010 at 1:59 am
You are a very attractive woman, and yes …SEXY too.
The first thing that popped into my head when reading this was…….you need to dump this loser. I know, love is blind……..but now you can see. HE was not the best thing you ever had. You deserve MUCH better than that, and I think you know it.
This other woman didnt break you guys up. If your man was so great, he would never have even thought about screwing around on you. You were just a booty call as you dont do things like that to those you love.
He is also making up excuses to you for treating you like crap. Ahhhh, his friend died…………ahhhhhh he "almost" lost his job. Always an excuse. He has basically played your feelings and you bought it ……hook , line , and sinker.
You deserve so much better and there still are guys out here that wont "use" women of your quality
Good Luck
1234 on September 10, 2010 at 1:59 am
.don’t have facebook, can’t see your picture
joker on September 10, 2010 at 2:00 am
u are not ugly and u are sexy and any guy woude be lucky woude to be with u
Barb Outhere on September 10, 2010 at 2:00 am
You lost the "the best thing I ever had"? Are you sure about that? 6 years together and you were NEVER allowed to stay the night, even after sex? Doesn’t sound like he was ever going to offer you more than a "F. Buddy" type relationship.
He needed a "break" from the relationship because of the way his life was (supposedly) but was with someone else within two months? Chances are he was either with her, or looking for someone else at the time you split. "She broke us up like a tornado and has now left a path of destruction." Sorry but the truth is it couldn’t have started at all until HE allowed it to. If he’d been committed to you, and the relationship, she wouldn’t have even been an issue. He opened himself to the opportunity to be with someone else, and took it when it arrived. That was HIS choice.
Then he – maybe – wanted to get back with you, even though there is yet another girl in the picture? For someone who couldn’t handle the "stress" of a relationship, he seems to be indulging in quite a few.
Sounds like you had a lucky escape, rather than a tragedy.
You need to remind yourself that the failing was his, not yours (its not about your looks, its about his character – or lack thereof), and that you ARE worthy of better than that. Take time to heal from the hurt. Seek the comfort of platonic friendships, friends and family, and when ready open yourself to the possibility of finding someone new.